All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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