need another drink. this is the easiest way
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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