I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
