found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Damn victory sex feels great
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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