You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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