She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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