Princesses don't give blow jobs
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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