dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
