if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
