I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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