maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
