It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
