She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
