The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
