Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I came so hard my ears popped.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
