You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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