i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
