does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
