Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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