I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
