Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
