Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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