Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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