Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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