You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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