When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
