The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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