If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Randomize