I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
