oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
