Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
