Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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