hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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