PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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