Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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