we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
