I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize