Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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