it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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