she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
