Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
