i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize