Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
i black out too much to be "responsible"
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
