So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
