Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
