The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
even my farts smell like vagina
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
