made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
