North Korea, Best Korea!
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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