Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
