Porn is love you can see.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
