I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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