Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
There r osticjed everywhere
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
