Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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