seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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