Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
