just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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