C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
