He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
