in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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