Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
My pussy is not your playground.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Randomize
