Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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