i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize