so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
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