im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
